it's a challenge

Literally, this is a challenge given to me by my Community Group leader, Scott Moore. Last night at our first cg meeting of the semester he challenged all of us to write down at least one thing each day about our children. At least I think that is what he asked us to do...it could've been just a thought from the day, but either way I'm making a brave attempt at not only a daily journal, but starting a blog at the same time! I know myself very well, and I will not post something everyday, but I am going to try and jot something down everyday and then post it here when I can.


This blog comes at a major turning point in our lives. Tomorrow is my last day working for my dear friend, Bubba Miller, whom I've been working for at his new business since the day it opened (June 2008). Although that isn't a long time, the reason it is a big deal is b/c I have been a working mom since Crawford was about 8 weeks old. Since Henry was born I have been a part-time working mom, but that has proven to be just as hard if not harder than working full time. There are several reasons why I decided to come home, but the main reason is that God has been telling me for the greater part of this year that He wants me to be at home. And eventhough I'm saying I made this decision, it was actually Bubba who set the plan into motion. He desperately needed someone full time and he knew it wasn't going to be me!

Today's events might not be the best to start with, but I might as well make this blog as honest as it can be. The fact is, it was an ugly day from many perspectives. It rained most of the day. I thought it would be fun for the boys to play in the rain, but neither one of them wanted to wear the cute rain boots I bought them and Crawford wanted to wear his raincoat from last year that is supposed to be Henry's now. As the day wore on my patience wore thin, and the the ugly part of me came out. I seem to get to a point where I can't handle the disobedience and utter lack of self control of my 3 and almost 2 year old boys. I also lose sight of the fact that they are just 3 and almost 2. I start talking to them like they are teenagers, or what I think it must be like to talk to teenagers. And then I have overwhelming guilt set in. The kind where I think about how I am forming them to be the adults that they will one day grow up to be. And I don't want them to be impatient or quick to anger. What I really want is for them to be like their dad. Michael is the most patient and even-tempered person I know. This is one of the obvious reasons God put us together. I just wish he could be at home with me all the time...to help me be the parent that God wants me to be. But I know that God is sufficient in teaching me how to do this on my own. I just need to take better notes when Michael is home!